At 30 years old, Olive Persimmon had only had sex with two people less than 10 times in her life. She says the lack of intimacy made her determined to become a great lover, but it turned out to not quite be what she expected. Does my body look sexy in this position? What was that weird noise we just made? Instead of focusing on sex as a performance, Bryden recommends looking at it as playful.
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Male desire is a familiar story. We scarcely bat an eyelash at its power or insistence. In , as experts weighed the moral and medical implications of the first female libido drug , I found myself unsatisfied with the myths of excess and deficit on offer, and set out to understand how women themselves perceive and experience their passions. Over the course of five years, I talked with women and dozens of sexual health professionals. My reporting took me from coast to coast, and spanned conversations from a year-old convinced she was sexually damaged to a year-old learning how to orgasm. I spoke with widows, newlyweds, committed monogamists, secret liaison seekers, submissives and proud polyamorists. In Los Angeles, I sat with a group of determinedly nonplussed sex coaches as they took in a live flogging demonstration, while in New York I stood among a thousand women whipped into a fist-pumping frenzy by a guru who declared the time had come for them to reconnect to their sensuality.