I was living with my in-laws for a good four years after I got married. While everything else was great, the sex life… It suffered big time! But if you, like me, like to spice things up with props and costumes, then living in a joint family is not the ideal scenario for you. In fact, forget spontaneous sex on a table, having sex in a different bedroom is also a challenging task. It could be totally different for someone else.
Sometimes a bad title signals a bad movie, and such is the case with this Jacky St. James set of vignettes, one of the weakest entries in her Tabu Tales series. When I hear of sex between in-laws I think of Greek tragedy, where customs required a brother to take care of his brother's wife should something happen to the guy, and tribal stuff like that. But here it's merely a tongue-in-cheek variation on the rampant step-mom and step-dad porn currently bringing in the bucks. Siri saves the first silly episode titled "The Gigantic Obsession" as the phone app come to life as a huge-busted porn star is constantly being ogled by her father-in-law Alec Knight, who seems to be typecast as a pervert in these dramedies. There's nothing fake here about Siri's "double H's", but her red hairdo has got to go. This is silly fluff from start to money shot on her breasts of course.
It's a cruel irony that the time of the year that lends itself best to carnal relations, drink flowing, time off work is also the time you're most likely to be staying with family. And, as we all know, the fear of being over-heard by your other half's protective father is not the biggest aphrodisiac around. Sex at the in-laws that doesn't involve hideous morning-after awkwardness as a direct result of that squeaky mattress is possible. Being the helpful lot that we are, we're shining a light on this trickest of practices, to help keep your Christmas as merry as possible. Simply adhere to the do's and don't listed below.
During that journey, you will magically transform from being adults with bills and dishwashing detergent and dress shoes into children—powerless and confused children. The topper? Take the expectation that the trip is going to be sexy out of your brain before you hit the road. Instead, think of it as a safari—you'll probably see a lot of boring zebras, you might have some heart-pounding moments, you'll get to wear a kooky hat, and, if you're lucky, you'll see a lion. That lion, which you should always be on the lookout for, is sex.